erin judge writes this

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I'm Erin Judge. I'm a comedian and a writer. I live in Los Angeles. Let's hug.

October 12, 2015

entitled to nothing

I wrote this in response to an LA Times humor column lambasting Millennials. The LA Times declined to publish it, so I'm sharing it here. Jessica and Ashley were two of the most popular names for girls in 1985.

Jessica: OMG did u see that piece about Millennials?

Ashley: which one LOL

Jessica: LOL

Jessica: This one's some LA Times guy

Jessica: Says we’re entitled to nothing

Jessica: Twice

Ashley: LOL yea my retired uncle posted it on my FB wall

Ashley: we sure do suck huh

Jessica: Yup! Total spoiled brats

Jessica: How r u?

Ashley: OK

Ashley: at work

Jessica: On Sat?

Ashley: yeah

Ashley: new retail gig

Ashley: my student loan payments went up again

Jessica: Wanna get coffee after work Mon?

Ashley: can’t

Ashley: gotta pick up Lily from daycare and give them most of my paycheck

Jessica: Dude.

Ashley: yeah it’s crazy

Ashley: fri?

Jessica: Nope

Jessica: We’re moving again

Jessica: 4th time in 5 years

Ashley: dang

Jessica: Yeah, wish we could get a house

Jessica: But there's no way

Ashley: I know

Ashley: cheapest thing in our neighborhood is like $700k

Ashley: how’s ur wife?

Jessica: She's alright

Jessica: Back home right now

Jessica: Her cousin is fighting charges from a #BlackLivesMatter protest

Jessica: Didn’t ur mom used to protest a lot?

Ashley: yeah against Vietnam

Ashley: she says movements today lack clear demands

Jessica: You mean like demilitarization of police departments? And a DOJ review of systemic abuse by police?

Ashley: LOL I know right?

Ashley: how’s ur bro?

Jessica: Not great

Jessica: Still drinking a lot

Jessica: Nightmares etc

Ashley: is the VA helping?

Jessica: Not enough...

Ashley: dude wtf????

Jessica: I know right?

Ashley: sucks

Ashley: sorry Jess gotta go

Ashley: break’s over

Ashley: miss u

Jessica: Miss u 2!

Jessica: Anything I can do 2 help?

Ashley: texting is nice

Ashley: lifts my spirits

Jessica: Ditto babe.

Ashley: will do

Jessica: Luv u!!

Ashley: luv u 2 xo