erin judge writes this

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I'm Erin Judge. I'm a comedian and a writer. I live in Los Angeles. Let's hug.

March 10, 2014

hack battle of the hack sexes

Over the weekend, the gangs of marauding feministas over at Jezebel and The Gloss took the #LiesToldByFemales hashtag to task for its sexism and reductionism. Jezebel even started to deconstruct the #LiesToldByMales tag for being equally essentializing and harmful.

As a comedian, I feel compelled to point out that the primary sin of these Tweets is being SO. FUCKING. HACKNEYED.

I will now demonstrate this by writing as many #LiesToldByMales-style Tweets as I can in one and one half seconds.

Ready? GO:

I know where I'm going.

Yeah, I can fix that.

Of course I never look at porn.

That was the most delicious thing I've ever eaten.

It's fine if you don't shave your legs for a few days.

My wife is the only woman I look at.

We just play poker for nickels.

Yes, I definitely want another kid.

I'm fine with driving the minivan to work.

I love hanging out with your friends.

A handjob? Sure. I'd really like that.


OMG LOL, right?

The only thing less funny on Twitter than some battle of the sexes hashtag is when conservatives try to make fun of liberals. That usually turns out like:

#ThingsObamaSays Hey give me all your gun and money we dont have that stuff in Kenya where Im from!!!

That might actually make too much sense. I'll try to come up with a better example next time I'm drunk.