You: So how's the wedding planning going?
Me: [beginning a panic attack] Oh, it's fine!
You: Yeah? So do you have a whole plan for everything?
Me: [dying inside] Mostly!
You: So you've got a ceremony written? Vows? Dress fittings? Music selections? Programs? Hair stuff? Transportation? A timeline? A license? An officiant?
Me: [actually rending my garments] OH GOD! I HAVE NONE OF THAT! AHHH!! AHHHHH!!
[Exits, pursued by the specter of impending nuptials]