Things I Have Learned from True Blood

1. All vampires are pretty gay...but then, everybody is pretty gay, as it turns out, so really that's a wash.

2. You can play rock-paper-scissors with werewolf-fairy-vampire. Werewolf overpowers fairy, fairy light-blasts vampire, vampire subjugates werewolf.

3. McMansions and other earth-killing development are really upsetting to ancient beings. Aside: Russell Edgington, please find the people who did this and eat them.

4. Werewolves dress like hipster-biker-tattoo-lumberjack hybrids. So Austin, Texas is populated mostly by werewolves.

5. Did I mention vampires are all pretty gay? As is everybody?